What a surprise, to receive a box from Amazon.com today bearing the 2008 Mom's Plan-It organizer, sent as a gift by my friend Lori.
Thanks, doll!!
Yes, the same Mom's Plan-It organizer that I put on my Christmas list, that my father-in-law looked all over the place for, yet couldn't find. Miraculously, Lori found it on the internet, at Amazon.com. The husband, in the past, has asked for several computer games, available at an online retailer (even included the web address with his Christmas list), but ended up getting a game he already had, that was on-sale at a local store. Yet, last year, the father-in-law did manage to order for the husband's brother (aka. the brother-in-law) 2 bottles of some obscure micro-brew beer from a Belgian (Belgium!!) website, that with shipping ended up costing in the neighborhood of $75 and took about 6-weeks to arrive.
Every year, I consider telling them just to not get me anything. Or better yet, I consider telling them to make a gift to a charitable cause in my name. I never do, though, because there's just not good way to explain to someone that you'd rather they not buy something for you because of the angst it causes.
Only 361 days until Christmas!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Fun Stuff
Crayon box survey
TAKE THIS SURVEY!
RED = ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone? Not really
2. Which of your family members has the worst temper? Me!
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? Yes
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry? Probably. I've never been looking in the mirror when I'm angry.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell? Both
ORANGE = EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? Yes
2. Are you easily excited? No
3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about? Umm.... can't really think of anything... how sad is that?
4. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought? FINALLY!
5. If you could have anything right now what would it be? I probably shouldn't answer that.
YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name: Ruth
2. Birthday: November 23, 1969
3. What's your main goal in life? To be content.
4. Do you want to have children? Already have one.
5. How do you want to die? Quickly and without pain.
GREEN = OPINIONS
1. Are you against gay marriage? No
2. Lower the drinking age? Absolutely not!
3. Capital Punishment? No
4. Abortion? No
5. Democrat or Republican? Depends on what they're saying... probably more democrat than republican.
BLUE = LOVE
1. Do you love someone? Yes
2. Do you have a bf/gf? Husband
3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? I don't think so.
4. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.
5. Would you tattoo your lovers name on your body? No
PURPLE = Q&A
Q: How many beds did you lay in today? One
Q: What color shirt are you wearing? blue
Q: Name one thing that you do everyday? kiss my son
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now? none
Q: Is Tom on your Top friends list? Who's Tom?
Q: Look to your left. What's there? The printer.
Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? Geesh... I think it was a dress from Teresa Paulina, while we were still at Berea, a million years ago.
Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? msn.com
Q: Do you have plants in your room? No
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now? Everything aches... the sucky thing about getting older.
Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in? Chicago
Q: Do you own a picture phone? Yes
Q: Recent time you were really upset? last week
PINK = LAST
1. Person you saw? my son
2. Person that said they loved you. the husband
3. Movie watched in cinema? Hairspray
4. Song you listened to? Only When I Lose Myself by Depeche Mode
5. Person you talked on the phone with? my father-in-law (God help me)
GREY = TODAY
1. What are you doing right now? Taking this survey!
2. What are you doing tonight? Watching tv, then going to bed.
3. What are you going to eat? Right now? Eggs and toast.
4. Did you accomplish anything today? Not yet, but it's early.
5. What shoes are you wearing? None
BROWN = TOMORROW
1. Is? Tuesday
2. My plans are? Another day off from work, because it's New Year's day
3. Are you going to laugh? hopefully
4. Any TV show you watch coming on? LIFE ON MARS!!! (Thank God for BBC America...)
5. Do you know what you will eat? Pork and sauerkraut for good luck in the new year, of course!
CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!
More surveys @ MySpaceBulletins.com
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Is it wrong, somehow, that today, the boy was eating bacon while watching a cartoon called 'Jakers! The Adventures of Piggly Winks', which as the title suggests has a main character who is a pig?
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Alright, alright, alright!!!
In all fairness, I did get several cool things:
- Not just 1, but 2 pounds of the Starbucks Christmas blend coffee (yummy)
- A digital photo keychain that holds 60 pictures
- Some H2O shower gel and lotion from the husband's brother and his wife (that DOES NOT show a warning on the label regarding excessive use!)
I really... probably... shouldn't complain as much as I do, but good Lord, sometimes the weirdness is just overwhelming, and this blog is my outlet for it.
But seriously, Twyla, a toilet snake (see Twyla's comment on the post below)? Really? That, I think, takes the prize for the worst gift!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Correction
The warning on the back of the shower gel and lotion from my mother-in-law reads, and I quote, "Caution: Use only as directed. Excessive use or prolonged exposure may cause irritation to skin and urninary tract."
What the hell?
I think it is rather telling that there is no brand name on the label. And I'm considering calling the CDC to discuss exactly how I should dispose of this.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Holy crap, I'm bored.
It's as quiet as a tomb here at the Casa de Insurance this week. Yesterday, there were only four out of about thirty people here. A co-worker, God bless him, had the forethought to bring in DVD's from home to watch on his computer while he worked. I watched 'Transformers' and 'Bulletproof Monk' while I typed away... not necessarily my first choices for movie viewing, but the selection was rather limited.
So Christmas is behind us for another year, and how can I possibly express to you how happy I am about that? I love the idea of the holidays, but the actual holidays themselves always turn out to be a disappointment for me. How sad is that? Dealing with my in-laws just makes things too stressful, which makes me bitchy, which irritates the husband (because I'm constantly bitching about his family, and he can't really bitch about mine, because let's face it - my parents are both dead, and I hardly hear from my brother). But c'mon now, I think any sane person in the same situation would react the same way. Case in point - we have a 'ritual' of giving lists each year of what we'd like for Christmas. It makes me crazy, mostly because I have a hard time coming up with things to put on the list, but whatever. My list this year included:
kitchen towels (boring, but we desperately need them)
a pound of Starbuck's Christmas blend coffee (yummy)
the Mom's 2008 Plan-it spiral bound calendar (available from several placed on-line, or from large retail booksellers)
I received two questions from the father-in-law regarding this list...
1. Now, where would one find this Starbucks Christmas blend?
2. Why this particular calendar? I mean, what is it about this particular calendar that makes it better than others?
What?!? It makes my head spin, I tell you. I did get the Starbucks coffee (after telling him that, if it were me, I'd check at STARBUCKS to see if they were carrying it this year. "Starbucks?! I never would've thought to check there!"), and the kitchen towels... and a plain, black spiral-bound 2008 calendar.
I did not get a third pair of vibrating slippers. I think, this year, I would've welcomed another pair of them.
From the mother-in-law (the father-in-law's second wife, not the husband's actual mother), I got a shower gel/lotion set that both have the warning on the label "Avoid prolonged exposure or excessive use, as this might cause itching or skin irritation" (sounds inviting), and several sample-size Clinique and Estee Lauder products that she received as promotional gifts with things she purchased throughout the year.
Is it just me, or would this be along the same lines as giving someone the hotel soaps and shampoos that your pilch before checkout as a gift?
I give up.
PS - special shout out to Twyla - hope your daughter and your man are both doing better!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Look! Up in the sky!
Crabby, middle-of-the-night post...
It's 12:45 am, which I suppose isn't really all that late, but for me it is, as I am usually in bed by 9pm.
I probably shouldn't be blogging, because I have nothing at all good or witty to say, but here I am.
I've been sick, of course, with a sinus/ear infection. Now that W.T. is in preschool, he is of course bringing home every germ in a one-mile radius.
And isn't the picture above wonderful? I know I'm biased, but it's so wonderful it just breaks my heart when I look at it. My precious little boy's first picture with Santa. We tried to take him about 2 years ago, but he was spooked by the whole thing and cried, so we didn't force it. This year was the magic year, though. And guess who got to experience my son's first visit with Santa?
My fucking in-laws, that's who. Oh, they meant well. They always do. To the husband, "Bring him over this afternoon (earlier today) and we'll take him to the mall to look at Christmas decorations and all that, and you can have some free time..." I told him on the phone when he told me this (because, of course, I was at work) to please ask them NOT to take W.T. to see Santa, as I would really like to be there for that, being the first time and all... or to let me know if their plan was to take him to see Santa, and I would take the afternoon off and we could all go together, but he didn't.
"I didn't really have the chance to say anything to them about it..."
Oh bullshit. You don't have the balls to say anything to them.
I think the snoring has finally stopped. I'm going to try to go back to sleep now...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Why don't I think of these things?
My dear friend Teresa Paulina posted this on her blog, and it's ABSOLUTELY TOO GOOD not to share. You MUST watch, especially if you're a mom.
And speaking of Teresa P., please send up a little prayer for her and her family. They're having a little bit of a rough time, and could use some good thoughts and wishes.
ENJOY!!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Later that evening...
The turkey was...
... cold. And I mean COLD! He (the father-in-law) made the turkey yesterday, and cut the meat off the bones. Today, he (the father-in-law) doused the turkey slices with fake butter spray and reheated them in the microwave. UCK!! There were pecans in EVERYTHING - the cranberry sauce, the sweet potato casserole (well, there are supposed to be pecans in that), and the stuffing. Pecans in the stuffing!!! Celery, dried cranberries and LOTS of extra sage in the stuffing, too. Sure, it might sound like it would be good, but this is not the way God intended Stove Top to be prepared!
The corn and mashed potatoes were good (don't ask about the gravy).
And, of course, the pumpkin pie. But I guess it's hard to screw up a Mrs. Smith's pumpkin pie.
Tomorrow, we will be putting up our Christmas decorations, and I will begin to eagerly wonder who will get me a pair of vibrating slippers this year!
Bring on the bird!
Thanks to you who sent me birthday cards, both electronically and by regular mail!
My husband's gift to me is the promise of tickets to see... wait for it...
YO-YO MA when he comes to Columbus, OH in May of next year! Tickets are not yet on sale, and I hate to think how much they'll cost, but who cares.
Did my brother even CALL to say Happy Birthday? Or the "best friend" (who I know was at the gassy-man's house, because he's off work until the middle of next week)?
No!
Let's not go there.
So today, we're headed over to the in-laws for our postponed Thanksgiving dinner. We were supposed to go Thursday, but the father-in-law came down with the flu (or something) early last week, so dinner was put off until today. Holiday dinners at the in-laws' place are always an adventure in food.
My father-in-law loves to watch the Food Network, as do I. He also loves to experiment with recipes that he sees on their programs or finds on their website, as do I. Sometimes these experiments are successful, and sometimes ... they are not.
For some reason, my father-in-law has had it in his mind for years that my husband (his son) does not like turkey. This could not be farther from the truth. Because he (my father-in-law) was under this misunderstanding, though, our Thanksgiving dinners at his place have always been... different (and it's only this year that we discovered that my father-in-law thought that my husband {his son} didn't like turkey, in case you're wondering... it just never came up before... oddly enough... ). Last year was the kicker, though.
Last year, he (my father-in-law) tried out a recipe from the Food Network for pork chops (fine), that involved first soaking the pork chops overnight in a brine solution. One very important step to this that he missed, though, was rinsing OFF the brine solution when you remove the pork chops the following morning!
ICK!
Also on the menu was some sort of exotic (and I use the term loosely) stuffing, that really was nothing more that a perfectly decent box of Stove Top ruined by all sorts of weird things like almonds and raisins being added to it. Oh sure, it sounds like it might be tasty, but trust me, it was not.
But I ate it. With a smile on my face, I ate all of it. Because that's what you do... I suppose...
This year... this year, though, my mother-in-law (my father-in-law's second wife, not my husband's mother) said she's putting her foot down and having the traditional turkey, mashed potatoes, et al (which is how it came to light that my husband does, in fact, like turkey, but the conversation really wasn't interesting enough to recount here).
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Achmed the Dead Terrorist
I'm probably the last person to see this. That's usually the way things happen. But I have not laughed this hard in quite a while... it felt good...
Saturday, October 27, 2007
We got W.T.'s first pre-school pictures last week. I don't remember having my picture taken like this in preschool, but, then again, I guess I really don't remember much about preschool in general, so there you go.
The individual picture is WONDERFUL. I know I'm biased, but we've got one darn cute little boy. He's going to be a heartbreaker... who am I kidding, he already IS a heartbreaker:
We got the smallest package they offered; our family is small, so I didn't think we needed 2-8x10, 4-5x7, 6-3x5, 32 wallets, 4 photomagnets and a keychain. Every package included a group shot of the entire class, though... a group shot of all 15 kids and the 2 teachers that bravely try to keep them under control from 9:30 am to 12:00 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This shot will go down in history. I would post the entire photo here if I weren't afraid that one of the other parents would somehow stumble upon my blog someday and then sue me for invading the privacy of their child. Several of the children in the picture look as if they have to use the potty. One girl is grimacing as if she's been poked by a cattle prod. Very few of them are actually looking at the camera. Then there's my boy...
We have no earthly idea what the issue was here. Every time I look at it, I want to hug him. Years from now, when these kids are all grown, they'll be pulling out this picture and saying, "Oh yeah, remember the little boy in preschool who..."
Dyson Rocks
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, Dyson is marketing a PINK version of their marvelous vacuum cleaner. For every pink model sold, they're $40 to help breast cancer research, and they're also giving one away to lucky blogger. My mother-in-law has a Dyson, which I borrowed several times after our old vacuum exploded, before buying a new one. I am not exaggerating when I say that was probably the best vacuum I've ever used. It sucked so much dirt out of my carpet it was frightening.
Check out The Domestic Diva Blog to enter the contest.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Life and death and everything in between
I'm thinking I really need to post something of substance before all of you abandon me. Oh, the conundrum of balancing what I want to be doing with what I have to be doing. I absolutely despise having to make the choice, as I'm sure most people do.
Where to start... where to start...
We were away from home most of the weekend. Saturday was a picnic at the house of one of the weird cousins from the husband's family. I wish I could adequately put the weirdness into words, but it really is something that must be experienced first-hand. Katie would have a family get-together every weekend, if it were up to her. She told us as we were leaving that next year's Fall gathering would be a costume party, so be prepared. Pam, married for the first time at the age of 50-something this past summer, pulled me aside for a 25 minute conversation on what I thought of seeing her transgender step-daughter (formerly her step-son) at the wedding. (A little background - I used to manage a small bookstore in my hometown. The man she married used to come in this store regularly with his first wife and their 2 kids, a boy and a girl. I also used to sell him some of the more hardcore selections from our rack of adult magazines, which of course comes into my head everytime I see him. He wears red, high-top Converse sneakers always, and probably 10 gold chain bracelets on each arm. Ick.) I told her honestly that I felt a little bad for Ann (formerly Chris) at the wedding, because you could tell that she felt rather awkward. I told her that it's hard enough to get through this life being fairly certain of your identity, but that I can't imagine how hard it would be dealing with figuring something like that out, and that I thought Ann is showing a lot of courage doing what she's doing. She (the cousin) said several times during the conversation, "We just tell anyone that asks about it that we support her... him... I mean her, and that we still love her." I really wanted to ask, "Are you trying to convince the people you say this to, or yourself?" but I didn't.
Sunday we spent a good bit of the day with my in-laws (joy, joy!). They returned last week from six weeks at their timeshare in Florida, which included a one week cruise to the Bahamas. We got the full, blow-by-blow story of my father-in-law's two-day bout with constipation. I will spare you the details, but will suggest that if you ever go on a cruise, take your own Ex-Lax. Apparently the infirmary doesn't stock enough. In the end (ouch... bad choice of words?), he paid $45 for a bottle of the same stuff they make you drink to clean you out before a colonoscopy. Why the cruise ship stocks plenty of this over Ex-Lax is a mystery.
And to the person who sent pictures of their dildo to my cell phone this weekend...
THANKS FOR SHARING!
That's all I'm saying...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Obviously I've missed my calling...
The quote, in case you can't read it, says "I wish for just one moment YOU COUD BE ME.. just so you know how much I love you. (Donna Beaupre)"
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
It is Friday afternoon.
I'm at work.
I'm bored.
I have spent my day
1) working on a report that isn't due until next Wednesday
2) searching for a new hairstyle on thehairstyler.com (I'm going directly from work to get my hair cut today - yay!)
4) checking my e-mail
I am in love with http://www.thehairstyler.com/... mostly. I discovered it several years ago. To get to the really good stuff, you have to pay a fee - $9.95 USD for a 3-month membership. With this, you can (if you choose) upload a photo to try out hairstyles on, or you can search their model faces for one that fits your face-shape and skin tone. You can also enter information on your hair type, density, elasticity, and on and on, and it will pull selections that would best suit you, including celebrity hairstyles that match. This is where I start to question their judgement, though. Thus far, my celebrity hairstyle matches have included: Glenn Close (eh), Sharon Stone (not bad again), Angela Lansbury (old!), Ann Robinson (old and scary, from the picture they show!), Kathy Bates (not as old as Angela Lansbury and Ann Robinson, but still), and Judy Sheindlin (Judge Judy!!). Is someone trying to tell me it's time to face my age, or just that I have bad hair?
Either way, it's just a little cruel.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Why, why, why, why, why...
I've changed jobs. I may have mentioned this. Never fear, gentle readers, I am still at the Casa de Insurance, just in a different department now. I have given up the prestige of system testing for corporate complaints. It's really not as bad as it sounds. I'd hoped to be able to get a nice, juicy post about it up here before now, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.
One perk of this job is that I'm no longer sitting directly across the aisle from Right-Wing-Conservative-Girl (henceforth known as RWCG). She just really thinks we're closer than we actually are. Perhaps it's my fault. Perhaps I've led her on. I've tried not to. I don't share lots of personal things with her (or anyone I work with, for that matter)... but is it appropriate to say to someone, "Look, you're actually rather irritating. There's nothing I can do about the fact that I have to see you every day, but I'm really just not that interested in what goes on with your life outside the confines of these blue, fabric-covered walls. Can we keep the conversation to a superficial level, please? Thanks!" Probably not.
It's not as bad as it was, since I've moved to a different floor of the building. I actually sit now directly behind her boyfriend. He (perhaps unbelievably so) is a very likeable person, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why he's stayed with RWCG for as long as he has (3 1/2 years), but we'll save that for another time. I'm not assaulted now (usually) the second she walks in the door with whatever drama took place the night before. There is still, though, the instant messenger.
Heaven help me.
Today's first message of the morning, out of nowhere, with no warning, was:
RWCG... i'm having my first real period since my surgery....i have to say, i really enjoyed that 10 month break......not that you really wanted to know that, but hey
Really, folks. If you type or are about to type something, and you have to start or end your thought with 'Not that you really want(ed) to know this...' STOP IMMEDIATELY! There's a REASON that your brain is questioning what you're about to say!
I'm going to go wash my brain now.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The First Masterpiece
"My Second Day"
Multi-colored stripes afixed to craft paper with glue
8 1/2" x 11"
on loan from the artist
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I have a secret. Maybe not so much of a secret, because I think I included it in the 100 Things About Me post that's buried in the archives, but in case you don't remember, here it is -
I'm an opera snob. Sure, my iPod is loaded with alternative and indie rock, electronic and Brit Pop and Eighties stuff that makes my husband cringe... but underneath it all, the opera and Classical music still has my heart. Mozart and Beethoven, of course. And Chopin and Rachmaninoff. Yo Yo Ma makes me swoon.
It's my mother's fault. She planted the seed, with all the record albums she bought back when Columbia House was actually a record club. She was so careful to slice the cellophane wrapper open along the opening of the album sleeve, so she could slide the album out and listen to it before deciding whether or not to buy it. Her record collection was boundless and it fascinated me.
Berea College may not have been the place to go for a music degree, but the professors were passionate about what they did (most of them, at least). I heard an opera from start to finish for the first time, and I was in love. Carmen. The Marriage of Figaro. Turandot. It's true, when it comes to opera, you either love it or hate it.
The angels surely must be rejoicing, to have this incredible voice now in their choir.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Let the dancing in the streets begin
Are you sitting down?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Five Memorable Nights
Saturday, August 25, 2007
It's been a full week since the... toilet incident. Discussions over when it happened and who it happened to have finally died down.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
No, this is not the promised post about my five memorable nights. Nor is it the promised post on my new job at the Casa de Insurance.
Sometimes, more frequently for some than for others, you have a moment when you think to yourself, "Really, isn't this more humiliation than a person should be expected to deal with?"
The following is a true story...
So I'm at work today, because it's Friday and because the vacation time I have available for the remainder of the year is dwindling, and because we need the income and the health insurance. It's a typical Friday at the Casa de Insurance. I'm working diligently at my new job, trying to formulate a response to a complaint that just won't go away. I'm tired. It's been a long week, and I haven't been sleeping well because... well... my husband's an idiot, but that's another story.
I go to the bathroom. This in itself is not an unusual occurrence.
I unzip. I sit down. I lean back and close my eyes for just a second because people, I am weary at this point in time...
And the toilet comes lose from the wall and crashes to the floor.
Thankfully (and surprisingly), water did not come spewing forth from the wall. Also thankfully, I was the only one in the bathroom at the time. I zipped up and ran.
The bathroom is now closed, and us ladies have to hike to the other end of the building right now if we need to go. The workman are in there now fixing it.
Did I tell anyone?
No, I did not.
And I'm not ashamed of this.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Working, working, working
Thursday, August 02, 2007
If I smell, I apologize
We have no water. In the house, that is. Nothing is coming out of the taps right now. We haven't had water since last night, which means we haven't been able to flush the toilets and we weren't able to take showers this morning. I cleaned up with baby wipes this morning... BABY WIPES!
And whose fault is this?
You guessed it. My FATHER-IN-LAW'S!!!!!
He was over yesterday, working on some small household projects with the husband. During all of this, he decided that the husband needed a lesson on where the main water shut-off for the house is located and how it works (because we're so stupid we can't figure out how to turn a knob). Instead of just pointing to it and saying 'Here's your main shut-off', he pointed to it, said 'Here's your main shut-off', gave a brief talk on when we might have to use it, and turned the knob to demonstrate how it works. After my husband confirmed that the water was off, the father-in-law turned it back on.
We had supper and chatted. The husband cleaned up the dishes and started the dish washer. The father-in-law left. The husband walked down the hall to go the the bathroom, past the utility closet where the main water shut-off valve is...
... and stepped in a puddle of water.
Obviously, there should not be a puddle of water on top of the carpet in the hallway.
Knowing now where the main shut-off was, the husband leaped into action, threw open the utility closet doors to shut the valve off... and found water spewing from said main shut-off valve. He got it shut off, and we got most of the water cleaned up, but when he turned it back on water started spewing again.
Something in the valve apparently snapped when the father-in-law gave his demonstration. Of course. Granted, we probably would've had to have gotten this fixed eventually, but we've lived here almost 10 years and haven't had a 'water emergency' that necessitated turning off the water at the main valve.
The plumber is here now... the plumber that does work for the father-in-law's condo complex and does side jobs under the table... he has to drain the water heater (40 gallons) and take it out so he can get to the valve to replace it... it's going to cost about $400.
At least the father-in-law had the sense to offer to pay for all this.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I love the people that read my blog. You all are the bomb.
Twyla tagged me to write about the five best nights of my life. Keep watching for my answers!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Good Girl?
Yes, I am overweight.
Yes, I am diabetic.
Yes, I am trying to loose weight by being more diligent about what I'm eating and by sweating my ass off on my elliptical machine 45 minutes a day at least 6 days a week.
I don't hide or ignore the fact that any of these statements are true. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not (Note to all the other fat girls out there: If you have a roll of fat around your middle so pronounced that it actually hangs over the waistband of your pants, PLEASE do not wear a belly shirt. It's NOT attractive. We thank you in advance for your attention to this.). The fact that the above statements are true, though, does not give you the right to patronize me. If you patronize me, you'll only end up pissing me off.
Here's how the scene unfolded this past Friday...
The new department that I'm in (By the way, I got a new job. Never fear, I'm still at the Casa de Insurance, just in a different department, but more on that in another post.) was gearing up for one of the infamous 'Casa de Insurance department reorganizations' (i.e. everyone was moving to a new desk), which was fine with me because I'd been here almost two weeks and was still sitting in a temporary desk. Management knew this was going to be a completely unproductive day, so they decided to show their appreciation for our understanding by buying us lunch. Pizza was to be delivered at noon. It's always either pizza or bagels with these people, which makes it surprising that our asses aren't permanently wedged into our chairs.
A new job in a new department means that I'm no longer directly across the aisle from Right-Wing-Conservative-Girl (henceforth known as RWCG) - YAY!! BUT, a new job in a new department means that RWCG is on the Casa de Insurance-approved instant messenger program to me FIRST THING EVERY MORNING - BOO!!. The conversation last Friday morning went something like this...
RWCG: Good Morning! How was your evening?
Me: It was okay... just the normal stuff.
RWCG: Good! Are you eating lunch with us today in the cafeteria, or staying at your desk since they're delivering pizza down there? (Side note: Lunch is a very big thing around here. It's almost like a social event, which is irritating. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating lunch with the crowd, but you always have to come up with an excuse. I spend gross amounts of money at Wal-Mart, because it's close and 'I need to pick up something at Wal-Mart' is a good excuse for getting out of the building at lunch time.)
Me: No, I'm not eating the pizza. I brought a big salad from home - trying to watch what I'm eating since I'm getting back on track with everything.
RWCG: Good girl!
Okay, back the truck up, Nellie. "Good girl!"? What the hell is that? I wanted to say, "Pardon me, but I'm not 10 years old and I'm not a dog." I wanted to say, "Do you really think that's encouraging? Because if you want to know the truth, it's not. It's irritating and condescending and rude" but I didn't, because I knew at that moment there was nothing I could type that would come out well, that wouldn't tell her exactly where she could go and how quickly she could go there, and because sometimes you have to choose your battles, especially when you see the person daily, and especially when you sit directly behind their boyfriend in the new department that you've moved to. Instead, I said nothing, shut down the instant messenger, and ate lunch at the big cafeteria table with RWCG and all the other ladies that are the lunchtime regulars.
Good girl? Screw you.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Please keep my friend Lori (see her link on the left) and especially her parents in your thoughts and prayers. Her dad is in the hospital right now, and it looks like he's going to lose one of his legs from the knee down due to complications from a blood clot. They're awesome folks, and taught me a few things during the (large amounts of) time that I spent at their house... everything from cooking (add a can of Pepsi to your chili, you would not believe how much better it tastes) to parenting (if you don't like what your child is doing in their room, take the door off the hinges and put it in the garage for a few weeks). Though the future looks bleak now, I know they'll get through this and get back to as close to normal as they ever were (and Lori, you know I mean that with all the love in my heart!) very quickly.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Dear Miss Manners...
I'm very disturbed at what seems to be a growing trend. I work in a rather large office, 400-500 people in my building. More and more while I'm in the ladies room, I hear other ladies talking on their cell phones while they're in the stall doing their business!! Personally, I find this quite distasteful, not to mention rude to the person you're speaking to. I'd be mortally offended if I were speaking to someone and suddenly heard through the phone the WHOOSH of a flushing toilet!
I know, however, that this is the 21st Century, and understand how important the electronics are to us, but please tell me, Miss Manners, is this behavior appropriate??
Eagerly awaiting your reply...
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Ah, sweet poetice justice...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Dear Miss Manners,
Is it appropriate for the check-out girl at the grocery store to adjust her chatchkes while she's ringing up my purchases? I don't mean just a small flick of a strap that's strayed down a shoulder, I'm talking a full hand-inside-the-shirt adjustment, followed by an over-the-shirt full-on from-below boost up of both girls.
And, after witnessing such an action, was it appropriate for me to say, "That must feel better"?
I eagerly await your advice...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Words I Never Wanted to Hear My Mother-in-Law Say...
Seriously, people... I do NOT know how many more of these encounters I can take.
The husband and I have been together for 11 years now, married for almost 10. You'd think after all this time, there would be little that the in-laws could say that would make me want to run from the room screaming, YET they are still managing to come up with new material.
So...
We went to the in-laws' place on the 4th for a little patriotic family time. The mother-in-law and I sat down to watch 'Charlotte's Web' (the live-action version that came out last year - very good, by the way. I highly recommend it.) while the father-in-law, the husband and the son did some male bonding. After that, we sat down to dinner.
As we were eating, the husband was recounting bits of a Bill Engvall special we'd watched a few days before on Comedy Central. His junior high-age son had just gone for his first school sports physical, and was understandably devastated by the turn-your-head-and-cough portion of the exam. Bill held up his index finger towards his son and said, 'Wait 'til you get to be my age.'
- Insert laughter here -
The father-in-law made a few jokes at the husband's expense, because he'll be forty in December, etc., etc. The conversation could've ENDED THERE, and it would've been fine.
But no.
My mother-in-law then had to pipe up with...
"Well, it can't be as bad as having one of those internal ultrasounds, like I just had to have at the gyno!" (Note: if you don't know exactly what the internal ultrasound is, use your imagination. I'm sure you'll get it....) Then she continued with...
"It's like having them stick a dildo up your privates! And it's always a woman that does it! Why do they have a woman sticking something like a dildo up inside you? At least if it was a man doing it maybe it wouldn't be so embarrassing."
What?
Okay - I unfortunately have had to have two of these procedures over the years. Trust me, they're embarrassing regardless of the gender of the ultrasound technician. I can only imagine the idiotic look I had on my face as she was saying this, and all I could think (but somehow managed not to say out loud) was
STOP SAYING DILDO!!!!!
I don't know what else to say, other than Ewww!!!
Yes, another new template. What do you think? This probably won't be the last change, which is why I haven't updated the links, so please don't take offense.
I know it's annoying to find something different everytime you visit. I feel as if I'm in a state of flux right now, and I'm trying to find something that just screams RUTH!!!!
Does the red background make it hard to read? And I'm not hip on all that empty space to the right, although it lets the pattern of the template show through nicely.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Could it be?
I know you all are on pins and needles, waiting anxiously for another update on the boy's potty training progress.
I, however, am ready for this task to be OVER.
I am happy, nay OVERJOYED, to FINALLY be able to say that MY SON HAS USED THE POTTY!!!!
Don't get too excited. He's still got a ways to go before being COMPLETELY potty trained, but we have at least broken through the first barrier. And, oddly, he's refused his reward of Hershey's kisses for his triumphs. Go figure.
If I knew more about HTML code, I'd put a counter for the pees & poohs that go in the potty over in the sidebar.
Heaven help me.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
The results are in.
Chatty Chicka, blog diva from So Many Blogs, So Little Time has posted her review of Ruth Speaks up here.
Why is validation from a complete stranger so satisfying? Of course now, the obsessive part of me wants to shoot for 10 out of 10.
I agree with her comments on the template. I chose the plain black at a time when it seemed appropriate, but perhaps it's time for a change. If only I were a little more computer savy, I might have an easier time with the free blog template sites. We'll work on that.
And I promise not to blog in different colors again.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
He is his mother's son...
We have discovered that chocolate might, in fact, be the key to getting the precious, darling boy to use the potty...
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Yowza!
My blog is set to be reviewed by diva Chatty Chicka at So Many Blogs, So Little Time on June 27...
I'm on pins and needles!
I MUST get to work on this place!!!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
"All my life, whenever it comes time to make a decision, I make it and forget about it"
I am a sucker for the claw machines that are packed tightly with cheaped stuffed animals. I have been known to waste a doller or two... or more... if I see something on the top layer that strikes my fancy. I've had pretty good luck with them over the years - a monkey here, an alligator there - but today as I was leaving the grocery store, I couldn't believe what I saw in the machine just outside the exit. What a find! I put in a dollar, which bought me two chances. I got it on the first try, though...
Yes, my friends, that is in fact Harry S Truman, the 33rd president of the United States of America. His tag says that he is one in a collection of twelve of our presidents that have been immortalized as part of the Sugar Loaf line of plush toys from Coinstar Entertainment Services, Inc. The collection includes Richard Nixon - what a coup that would be!! You can bet that I'll be keeping an eye out for him!
Harry will be seeing the sights with me this summer, so be sure to check back often for updates on THE ADVENTURES OF HARRY!
