Strange Encounter With My Father-in-Law number ????

Maybe I am a prude, and I just don't want to admit it.

The in-laws keep the boy for a few hours every Tuesday afternoon, because my husband has a 3:00pm class that day and there's no way I can get off work early enough to get home to the boy.

I went to pick the boy up this afternoon at the in-laws' place. It was a beautiful afternoon, so we were sitting on their back patio, which overlooks a small pond that's on the property where their condo is. It's Spring, and we all know that in the Spring, young men's hearts turn to thoughts of love. One female duck, hotly pursued by FOUR male ducks, came waddling around the corner of the building. They got hold of her after a minute and proceeded to have their way. I have to say, I really felt bad for her. It wasn't romantic at all, and they were a little rough. She finally broke away and ran for the pond, jumped in, and started dunking herself over and over.

Which prompted my father-in-law to say (as he was laughing)... "She jumped in the pond to have a douche!"

I'm just not sure how I feel about this...

THANKS to HEATHER for the VisualDNA!! Too cool!

Since I'm 'heavily depressed', I thought the dark background was appropriate... for now, anyways.

I have so much to say about this, but just need to organize my thoughts...

Please keep your arms and legs inside the car until the ride comes to a complete stop

"Heavy depression that's now affecting your marriage"

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

... we had our first appointment with a counselor night before last. This was all my idea, of course (which leads me to the very paranoid fear that he's going to end up resenting me for pushing the counseling so aggressively, especially now since it appears that a good portion of the problems we're having are mine, because of said heavy depression mentioned above). I'm thinking this will be quite the roller-coaster ride. I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with all this. Yes, it was my idea to begin with, so I have no one to blame but myself, and I'm not blaming anyone (over the idea of going to counseling, that is). It makes you feel very vulnerable,though, wide open now for the world to see, hoping you don't catch someone pointing their finger at you and laughing... and hearing someone say the words 'heavy depression that's now affecting your marriage' and knowing they're talking about you makes you feel somehow... well... defective.

I get so nervous when it comes to things like these, and when I get excessively nervous the tears start to flow.

I'm sure this guy just thought I was a real mess.

I really don't want to go back, but I think we have to. I think I have to. I don't think there's any other choice at this point.

I'm thinking about putting some thoughts, ideas, etc., down on paper and taking it with me to our next appointment, so I have my thoughts collected. Talk about anal. The guy we're seeing practices cognitive behavioral therapy, so I'm not aloud to blame things on my husband any longer, but rather look at how I'm responding to what he's doing. Hmmmmm.... I'm so ensconced in the blame-thing that this is really going to be tough for me. But something had to be done, and I was running out of ideas.

So we'll see... wait and see, wait and see, wait and see...

Warm weather is here (for a few days, anyway), and that means sandals. And when the sandals some out, so do the painted toenails.

I'm particularly enamored (enameled?) this year with the OPI shade Lincoln Park After Dark (part of the Deliciously Dark collection), which I found at the little place down the road where I get my hair cut.

I just love painted toenails. They make me feel sophisticated, pulled-together, like I've got it all going on. Even on days when closed-toe shoes are necessary, it's nice to know that inside, the toes look fabulous. It's the same for a girl, I suppose, as wearing a matching bra & panties set... it just makes you feel girly. I never thought I had the talent for it, until a friend of mine gave me her 'secret' about 12 years ago: just slop the stuff on. Don't worry about coloring in the lines, and the more coats the better. Take a hot shower the next morning, and after you've been in for a few minutes, scrub, scrub, scrub your toes with the wash cloth. The polish that got on your skin comes right off, and you're left with beautifully painted nails.

For years, I thought there was some kind of magic to it. But no. I've also wanted to try the French-manicure look that many women are sporting on their feet today, but just can't bring myself to have a pedicure (which has nothing to do with not wanting people to touch my feet). I've been told I have nice feet, and nicely shaped toes in particular, but there are leg issues that I won't go into. I was THRILLED this weekend when I found press-on toenails, painted to look like the French-manicure. I got 7 out of the 10 toes done and they looked stunning, but then ran into a glue problem (and, for a few minutes, the possibility that the index finger and thumb on my left hand might be permanently fused together) that proved too much to overcome, so I gave up and removed what I'd already gotten on.

They're only $4.99 a set. Maybe I'll try again.

Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints are the work of the devil...

THANKS TWYLA!

I've been tagged by TWYLA to list 7 songs that I'm into right now. I played around on YouTube enough that I actually figured out how to link the videos here, too (go me!).

In no particular order...

The Fray - How to Save a Life

Dave Matthews Band - American Baby

Dave Matthews Band - Say Goodbye

Dave Navarro - Rexall

Rocco DeLuca & the Burden - Colorful

Liz Phair - Extraordinary

The Subways - Rock & Roll Queen

Is that seven? I think that's seven.

I'm supposed to now tag seven people to complete this, but I'm not sure I know seven people with blogs. If you read this, consider yourself tagged.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

I was off work last week and had planned to blog, blog, blog, but then suddenly the week was over. My house is not much cleaner now than it was before last week, nor is my son any closer to being toilet trained. Today, I had to return to work and endure the endless "HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?!? DID YOU GO ANYWHERE?!?" inquiries.

Ugh.

The BEAUTIFUL, SLEEK 30GB iPod has been out of the box and in use for about 2 weeks now, and it's fabulous. It was inevitable. I don't know why I even pretended like there was a chance I'd return it.

The EYEBROW, I'm sorry to say, is not regenerating as quickly as I'd like it to. It's definitely starting to come back, but I wish it would hurry up. Although I've become a master at filling in the missing portion with an eyebrow pencil, I'm tired of being so paranoid about it that I carry said eyebrow pencil around in my pocket, ready to re-apply at any time. Honestly, it's a little exhausting.

I've been in my head too much lately... way too much. My husband and I have been fighting horribly. I don't know what's wrong with us. We've lost our mojo, and I'm starting to wonder if it's ever going to come back. I hate that thought, but there you have it. I'm trying to convince him that the opinion of an objective third party (read: marriage counseling) would be beneficial, but I've not won that argument yet. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

FAVE PHOTO FRIDAY

The Love family, circa 1923

My paternal grandparents were missionaries in the Cameroons in West Africa from 1911 to sometime in the 1950's. My two uncles (my dad's two older brothers) were both born there. My dad was born in Toledo, OH, but lived in Africa until he was about 7 or 8. This is one of the passport photos taken of the family during that time. My dad is the littlest one, in the sailor suit. He was 3 when this picture was taken.

I love this picture.

Can it get any worse?

There's been an... incident.

I decided to stop on the way home from work the other night to have my eyebrows waxed. I'm not adept at plucking them, not to mention that it's very tedious. I have no problem paying someone $10 + tip to apply hot wax to my skin and rip it off with a piece of fabric. All in the name of beauty.

BUT... and this has never happened before... I should've been wary when the girl that usually does them isn't there. I should've been even more wary when it took the girl that did end up doing much, much longer than it normally takes. Sure enough, when she handed me the mirror to take a look, I saw the BIG, GAPING HOLE IN MY LEFT EYEBROW. There's eyebrow, then no eyebrow, then a little bit of eyebrow at the end.

"Ummm... the right one looks great, but I think we've got a problem with the left one," I said.

"Yeah," she responded, nervously. "There was a little problem there."

"A little problem?"

"You don't have to pay for it..."

"Honey, paying for it is the least of my worries right now. What concerns me is walking around with half an eyebrow until this grows out."

"I think you'd be okay using an eyebrow pencil. And it should grow back in really quickly. I'm really sorry."

"An eyebrow pencil? I am missing PART OF MY EYEBROW because you were careless with the wax, and all you have to say is you think I'll be okay with using and eyebrow pencil?"

"I'm really sorry..."

I walked out. Until this grows back (thank GOD they grow back QUICKLY), I'm walking around with an eyebrow pencil in my pocket. I was in the bathroom probably a dozen times today at work checking it, and spent the rest of the time at my desk, worried that the rim of my glasses would rub the eyebrow pencil off.

Jesus...

Monday afternoon haiku. . .

iPod mocking me
in the drawer, so close at hand
damn you, 30 gigs

Crap.

I thought earlier today that my (horribly inadequate 4GB) iPod was fried, because it locked up and I couldn't do anything with it.

Last week was just about the worst week up my life, coming in second only to the week in 1998 when my mom died and in 2005 when my dad died (which are currently tied for first place).

Seriously. The week was truly THAT bad, no exaggeration. I'd go into details, but I'm tired of thinking about all of it.

I can't be without my iPod. It's just unthinkable. So I took the plunge and bought the 30GB I've been drooling over. That's what the credit card is for, right - a little retail therapy for those time when life is SO ABSOLUTELY SUCKY that all you want to do is lay in bed and eat pop tarts. I have no business AT ALL spending money like this right now. None. Zip. Nada. It's completely, totally careless and irresponsible on my part.

Wouldn't you know... when I got home, I was able to get the (horribly inadequate) 4GB iPod working. The beautiful, new 30GB iPod is still in the box, in the bag from the store with the receipt. I've got 30 days to return it.

I hate making decisions like this.

Awwww.... isn't he handsome?

This is what he looked liked after he got hold of his squirt bottle of shampoo...

At least he cleaned off the table, too...

EUREKA!!

The digital camera is back up & running (thank-you PAX for your words of wisdom on how I could find the drivers for my camera online - it was exactly what I needed, and saved me spending hours trying to find the disc that came with the camera!).

So here we go...

My first knitting project completed. Yes, you guessed it, it's an iPod cozy! I think the cozy - teapot cozy, toaster cozy, toilet paper cozy - has really gotten a bad wrap. I found instructions for this on DIYnetwork.com, which is the home of 'Knitty Gritty', the knitting show I'm now addicted to. The pictured doesn't really do it justice. The yarn is chunky and fuzzy, and has a stunning turquoise-colored satin ribbon running through it. Sadly, the instructions that I followed for this are for a full-size iPod, and I have the iPod mini (now the iPod Nano). Being the ingenious person that I am, I tailored the instructions for the size iPod I have, and came up with this...





A perfect fit! Again, the picture does not do it justice. The yarn is varigated, ranging from orange to yellow to blue, and it's also thick and fuzzy.


Although Mou laughed when I told him about the iPod cozy, I think it's what all the hip, stylish iPods will be wearing this Spring.





The obligatory scarf - an early project for every knitter




The weather here last Tuesday was just absolutely too nasty to try to make the 22 mile drive from my house to the Casa de Insurance. I left a message for my supervisor about 5:45am telling her I wouldn't be in, then promptly started on this stunning scarf. The yarn is thick and bumpy, and a mottled brown and black color. I worked on it all day. It ended up being about 7 ft long, and I LOVE IT!






A close-up of the wonderful scarf. Hopefully the color and texture comes through a little better here.





I'm a knitting fiend. It's nice to do something creative again.

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

I really stuck it to the 'man' at the Casa de Insurance yesterday, and told my boss that there was just NO WAY that I was risking life and limb on the ice and snow to make it into the office.  Since they don't see the need to furnish me with a laptop computer, enabling me to work from home on such occasions, they lost out for the day.  I spent the day knitting a FABULOUS scarf, which I would post pictures of, if it weren't for the fact that

 

I CAN'T GET MY DIGITAL CAMERA AND/OR COMPUTER TO UPLOAD PICTURES.

(*gasp*  *sob*)

 

The computer isn't recognizing that something is plugged into one of the USB ports, or something.  I haven't really had a chance to play with it.

 

So, alas, you will have to be patient a little longer.  I will post pictures of both the scarf and my first knitting project, a rather stunning 'cozy' for my iPod, as soon as I can figure out what's wrong with the camera and/or computer.

 

And hopefully I'll have something interesting to say soon, too.

Was I ever really THIS young (don't stop at the first pic... keep scrolling down!!)????????

I'm going to have to start going through MY photo albums now!!

I'm teaching myself how to knit (yes, beware, Ruth has long, pointy needles now...).

My ultimate goal is this bag, which is knitted and then felted in the washing machine.

Is this not one of the coolest bags you've ever seen?

So, last week played out something like this...

Monday: As per the usual routine, the radio came on at 5am playing the National Anthem. Sickness had descended on our house last week, and if the bone-crushing pressure I was feeling was any indication, I was next up in the rotation. If you've ever had any experience with sinus issues, you know the drill: head so full of congestion if feels as if your eyeballs are going to pop right out of their sockets, accompanied by such intense pressure in/on the sinus cavities you pray your head will just implode. I had the added enjoyment of a cough/wheeze routine if I tried to take a deep breath. There was no way I could endure eight hours at the Casa de Insurance. I left a message for my boss, left another for a co-worker that's working on a project with me, then crawled back into bed.

A few hours later I was up and on my way to the doctor. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate going to the doctor? It's an interruption. It's an inconvenience I don't need, especially when I know exactly what's wrong. I've lived in the 'Sinus Belt' all my life, and quickly learned how to recognize an oncoming sinus/upper respiratory infection. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a doctor's office that would happily comply if I called and said "Ten days worth of antibiotic, please, and throw in a kick-ass decongestant while you're at it. Thanks."

But no.

So in I went, to see the 'new' doctor that I just started seeing this past September. This would be the first time I'd seen him for something other than the routine diabetes appointments for bloodwork, etc. A gave the nurse a brief rundown of my history with sinusitis while she took my vitals. The doctor came in a few minutes later. He looked me over, in the ears, up the nose, down the throat, and asked all the pertinent questions. Then he said,

"Well, I don't see any sign of an infection. This looks like just your allergies flaring up."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I didn't actually say this out loud, but I'm sure the look on my face was screaming it. I gave him a brief rundown of my history with sinusitis also, but he wasn't having it. He prescribed an inhaler (to get rid of the wheeze - I've never had an inhaler before - eek!) and a cough medicine w/antihistamine, and sent me on my way.

Tuesday: In to work I went, still feeling miserable but not wanting to waste precious vacation time so early in the year. The doctor said there was no infection, and if there's no infection then I'm not contagious. I made it through half the day before finally giving in and going home.

Wednesday: Holy neds. I think the congestion has doubled in volume, if that's even possible, and I can't hear anything out of my right ear. There's such an intense feeling of pressure that I'm afraid if I cough or blow my nose, my eardrum is going to rupture. Back into the doctor first thing. That's one thing I'll say for this doctor's office - they're easy to get in to see. He looks me over again. Nope, still no sign of infection, according to him. You're kidding me, right? He sends me home with a prescription for a decongestant.

Thursday: This time when the alarm goes off, BOTH ears are plugged up. That's an experience I've never had before, and quite honestly it scared me a little. Screw the doctor, I decided. When 8am rolled around, I headed off to the local urgent care. Register at the desk. Wait. Go back to the exam room. Run through the drill with the nurse. I need to digress here for just a moment. I had a flashback to my college days, and visits to the college health center, because if you were a female seeing the doctor at the college health center, be prepared for the question "Are you pregnant?" Every time, without fail. Sure enough, the urgent care nurse asked me that, too. I was taken aback for a second, and stumbled a little with my answer. Wait. In comes the doctor, and here we go again... but then he says the magic words...

"Looks like you've got quite the sinus and upper respiratory infection going on here."

Hallelujah! Antibiotics, take me away! I was feeling better by that evening. And it only took two $15 co-pays at the doctors office, one $30 co-pay at the urgent care, and $60 in prescriptions.

We are all sick AGAIN!!

ARGH!!!

The husband was sick last week with the usual coughing, congestion, etc. Now I'm coming down with it, and the boy doesn't sound too good, either.

I hate being sick.

I worked from home Wednesday and Thursday of last week while the husband was sick, so he could rest while I kept one eye on the boy and one eye on the computer. I know for a fact (beacuse they don't do a very good job of 'whispering' when they're talking behind your back) that several of the ladies in my department didn't believe that the husband was really down with a cold.

Maybe they'll believe it when I spread my germs to them tomorrow by going into work.

Is that awful of me?

01-06-07

I hate to say, even think it
So cliche, but true
I feel as if I've just blinked my eyes,
And here we are
Today, he is three

Small, pink, perfect ears
Just right for nibbling
Sandy hair, complete with cowlick
That has a mind of its own
Dark eyes with lashes so thick
They make me jealous
Gap-toothed smile, shrieking laughter
"Tickle, tickle, tickle!"
Today, he is three

Bittersweet joy and wonder
Did I exist before he was here?
It's hard to remember
Will he be smart? Funny?
Will he cure a disease
And win the Nobel Prize?
Or will he bully children on the playground
And live at home until he's forty?
Today, he is three

God, are you there?
I've given up on you more than once
You owe me nothing
Now I am on my knees
Pleading as only a mother can
Keep him safe
Keep him healthy
Don't take him from me too soon
I did not exist before he came
I will not exist when he's gone
Today, he is three


(C) Ruth Speaks Up 2007