Alright, alright, alright!!!

In all fairness, I did get several cool things:

• Not just 1, but 2 pounds of the Starbucks Christmas blend coffee (yummy)
• A digital photo keychain that holds 60 pictures
• Some H2O shower gel and lotion from the husband's brother and his wife (that DOES NOT show a warning on the label regarding excessive use!)

I really... probably... shouldn't complain as much as I do, but good Lord, sometimes the weirdness is just overwhelming, and this blog is my outlet for it.

But seriously, Twyla, a toilet snake (see Twyla's comment on the post below)? Really? That, I think, takes the prize for the worst gift!

Correction

The warning on the back of the shower gel and lotion from my mother-in-law reads, and I quote, "Caution: Use only as directed. Excessive use or prolonged exposure may cause irritation to skin and urninary tract."

What the hell?

I think it is rather telling that there is no brand name on the label. And I'm considering calling the CDC to discuss exactly how I should dispose of this.

Holy crap, I'm bored.

It's as quiet as a tomb here at the Casa de Insurance this week. Yesterday, there were only four out of about thirty people here. A co-worker, God bless him, had the forethought to bring in DVD's from home to watch on his computer while he worked. I watched 'Transformers' and 'Bulletproof Monk' while I typed away... not necessarily my first choices for movie viewing, but the selection was rather limited.

So Christmas is behind us for another year, and how can I possibly express to you how happy I am about that? I love the idea of the holidays, but the actual holidays themselves always turn out to be a disappointment for me. How sad is that? Dealing with my in-laws just makes things too stressful, which makes me bitchy, which irritates the husband (because I'm constantly bitching about his family, and he can't really bitch about mine, because let's face it - my parents are both dead, and I hardly hear from my brother). But c'mon now, I think any sane person in the same situation would react the same way. Case in point - we have a 'ritual' of giving lists each year of what we'd like for Christmas. It makes me crazy, mostly because I have a hard time coming up with things to put on the list, but whatever. My list this year included:

kitchen towels (boring, but we desperately need them)
a pound of Starbuck's Christmas blend coffee (yummy)
the Mom's 2008 Plan-it spiral bound calendar (available from several placed on-line, or from large retail booksellers)

I received two questions from the father-in-law regarding this list...
1. Now, where would one find this Starbucks Christmas blend?
2. Why this particular calendar? I mean, what is it about this particular calendar that makes it better than others?

What?!? It makes my head spin, I tell you. I did get the Starbucks coffee (after telling him that, if it were me, I'd check at STARBUCKS to see if they were carrying it this year. "Starbucks?! I never would've thought to check there!"), and the kitchen towels... and a plain, black spiral-bound 2008 calendar.

I did not get a third pair of vibrating slippers. I think, this year, I would've welcomed another pair of them.

From the mother-in-law (the father-in-law's second wife, not the husband's actual mother), I got a shower gel/lotion set that both have the warning on the label "Avoid prolonged exposure or excessive use, as this might cause itching or skin irritation" (sounds inviting), and several sample-size Clinique and Estee Lauder products that she received as promotional gifts with things she purchased throughout the year.

Is it just me, or would this be along the same lines as giving someone the hotel soaps and shampoos that your pilch before checkout as a gift?

I give up.

PS - special shout out to Twyla - hope your daughter and your man are both doing better!

Merry Christmas - or - Happy Holidays, whichever you prefer, to all of you, my blog darlings. Thank you for listening to me whine. The in-laws will be here in approximately 6 hours... so I'm sure that will make for some good blogging!

Look! Up in the sky!

GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR, DEAR FRIEND MOU TODAY!

(Be sure to tell him he doesn't look a day over 41!!)

Crabby, middle-of-the-night post...

Hold onto your seats.

It's 12:45 am, which I suppose isn't really all that late, but for me it is, as I am usually in bed by 9pm.

I can't sleep. Really, we were all awakened about an hour ago by the precious little boy having a bad dream, and he's calm and back to sleep now, but I can't get back to sleep because of the husband's snoring. But I'm not going to go there right now.

I probably shouldn't be blogging, because I have nothing at all good or witty to say, but here I am.

I've been sick, of course, with a sinus/ear infection. Now that W.T. is in preschool, he is of course bringing home every germ in a one-mile radius.

And isn't the picture above wonderful? I know I'm biased, but it's so wonderful it just breaks my heart when I look at it. My precious little boy's first picture with Santa. We tried to take him about 2 years ago, but he was spooked by the whole thing and cried, so we didn't force it. This year was the magic year, though. And guess who got to experience my son's first visit with Santa?

My fucking in-laws, that's who. Oh, they meant well. They always do. To the husband, "Bring him over this afternoon (earlier today) and we'll take him to the mall to look at Christmas decorations and all that, and you can have some free time..." I told him on the phone when he told me this (because, of course, I was at work) to please ask them NOT to take W.T. to see Santa, as I would really like to be there for that, being the first time and all... or to let me know if their plan was to take him to see Santa, and I would take the afternoon off and we could all go together, but he didn't.

"I didn't really have the chance to say anything to them about it..."

Oh bullshit. You don't have the balls to say anything to them.

I think the snoring has finally stopped. I'm going to try to go back to sleep now...

Why don't I think of these things?

My dear friend Teresa Paulina posted this on her blog, and it's ABSOLUTELY TOO GOOD not to share. You MUST watch, especially if you're a mom.

And speaking of Teresa P., please send up a little prayer for her and her family. They're having a little bit of a rough time, and could use some good thoughts and wishes.

ENJOY!!

Later that evening...

The turkey was...



... cold. And I mean COLD! He (the father-in-law) made the turkey yesterday, and cut the meat off the bones. Today, he (the father-in-law) doused the turkey slices with fake butter spray and reheated them in the microwave. UCK!! There were pecans in EVERYTHING - the cranberry sauce, the sweet potato casserole (well, there are supposed to be pecans in that), and the stuffing. Pecans in the stuffing!!! Celery, dried cranberries and LOTS of extra sage in the stuffing, too. Sure, it might sound like it would be good, but this is not the way God intended Stove Top to be prepared!



The corn and mashed potatoes were good (don't ask about the gravy).



And, of course, the pumpkin pie. But I guess it's hard to screw up a Mrs. Smith's pumpkin pie.


Tomorrow, we will be putting up our Christmas decorations, and I will begin to eagerly wonder who will get me a pair of vibrating slippers this year!

Bring on the bird!

Thanks to you who sent me birthday cards, both electronically and by regular mail!

My husband's gift to me is the promise of tickets to see... wait for it...

YO-YO MA when he comes to Columbus, OH in May of next year! Tickets are not yet on sale, and I hate to think how much they'll cost, but who cares.

Did my brother even CALL to say Happy Birthday? Or the "best friend" (who I know was at the gassy-man's house, because he's off work until the middle of next week)?

No!

Let's not go there.

So today, we're headed over to the in-laws for our postponed Thanksgiving dinner. We were supposed to go Thursday, but the father-in-law came down with the flu (or something) early last week, so dinner was put off until today. Holiday dinners at the in-laws' place are always an adventure in food.

My father-in-law loves to watch the Food Network, as do I. He also loves to experiment with recipes that he sees on their programs or finds on their website, as do I. Sometimes these experiments are successful, and sometimes ... they are not.

For some reason, my father-in-law has had it in his mind for years that my husband (his son) does not like turkey. This could not be farther from the truth. Because he (my father-in-law) was under this misunderstanding, though, our Thanksgiving dinners at his place have always been... different (and it's only this year that we discovered that my father-in-law thought that my husband {his son} didn't like turkey, in case you're wondering... it just never came up before... oddly enough... ). Last year was the kicker, though.

Last year, he (my father-in-law) tried out a recipe from the Food Network for pork chops (fine), that involved first soaking the pork chops overnight in a brine solution. One very important step to this that he missed, though, was rinsing OFF the brine solution when you remove the pork chops the following morning!

ICK!

Also on the menu was some sort of exotic (and I use the term loosely) stuffing, that really was nothing more that a perfectly decent box of Stove Top ruined by all sorts of weird things like almonds and raisins being added to it. Oh sure, it sounds like it might be tasty, but trust me, it was not.

But I ate it. With a smile on my face, I ate all of it. Because that's what you do... I suppose...

This year... this year, though, my mother-in-law (my father-in-law's second wife, not my husband's mother) said she's putting her foot down and having the traditional turkey, mashed potatoes, et al (which is how it came to light that my husband does, in fact, like turkey, but the conversation really wasn't interesting enough to recount here).

Wish me luck.

Sending you all wishes for a wonderful holiday

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving...  and the day after that is my birthday, YAY ME!

 

The bad thing about the new position at the Casa de Insurance is that I actually have work to do, which really stinks because I was born to slack at work.  At least things have slowed down a bit today, the day before a holiday.

 

I am trying to come up with a list of things that I'm thankful for.  My life is full of things I should feel (and am, really) thankful for, but it's hard to put it down on paper, for some reason.  My brother called me the other night, asking a few questions about what the boy would like for Christmas.  It was nice to hear from him and all (since I rarely hear from him, even though we're each the only true immediate family that the other one has left, now that both of our parents are gone), but it also reminded me of how distant we are with each other now, and how there's nothing I can do about that.

 

Which hurts.  Very much so.  And stirs up feelings of anger and resentment, at both him and myself, and rejection, which always hurts...  but even though he's been so distant for so long, and we've grown apart, and I feel almost like we're strangers, even thought I've offered a blanket apology (even though I don't know of anything I've done that would be so offensive to him or his wife) and practically begged for us to be close again, which has never gotten a response from him, I'd still pick up as if nothing had ever happened, if the offer was ever made.  I would accept him with open arms and forget these years of hurting, and pretend as if nothing ever happened...  if that makes sense...  because I miss him.

 

Perhaps tomorrow I'll be able to write down that list of things I'm thankful for...

Honoring those who have served

Thank a veteran today

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

I'm probably the last person to see this. That's usually the way things happen. But I have not laughed this hard in quite a while... it felt good...