Monday, November 07, 2005

Monday, Monday...

Happy, happy, joy, joy... another Monday at work is winding to a close. My boss is back from his business trip that took him out of the office last week. I wish I could say this was a good thing. Picture, if you will, Rico Sua-ve walking briskly through the aisles of cubicles with a cordless phone headset attached to his ear, chattering constantly. We're all waiting for him to walk into the men's room someday while he's talking. It's not pretty.

As I sit on a conference call, pretending to pay attention to things that have nothing to do with me, I'm reflecting on this past weekend. Parenthood, in a word, can be a bitch. W.T. was in rare form this past weekend. His strong personality is shining through more and more each day. The frequency of temper tantrums is increasing rapidly. On a positive note, time-out seems to be working since we now have a designated spot for it in the dining room that is out of sight from the television. For whatever reason, he's not too hip on mommy right now, depending on his mood of course. Several times now he's refused to let me get him out of his crib, and I'm usually the one that gets slapped when he's upset about something. We always hurt the ones we love, right? I'm a smart girl. I know he knows I'm his Mama. And I know he loves me. And I know he's just feeling his way as he discovers his independence as a little person of his own. But I just can't help feeling like I've been pricked by a little knife each time he reaches for daddy instead of me when he's ready to get out of his crib. Or needs his diaper changed. Or whatever. I'm trying my best not to take it to heart. I'm trying my best not to get pouty when he scowls when I walk through the door, yet chortles with joy when Daddy comes home. It's just part of having an almost two-year old in the house. God give me strength.

2 comments:

justrose said...

i know totally how you feel. i don't miss the tantrum stage but i found when my daughter got a little more linguistic facility they became less severe cause she could SAY what made her frustrated or whatever. now i just get the SPOKEN guilt trips ...hahahahahah....

... and i know what it's like to have daddy be the fun guy who the baby reaches for. it's because (my counselor told me, who knows if it's true) that kids identify so strongly with the mom that part of the breakaway and becoming their own little soul IS that preference-switching ... the independence, just as you said. i totally get it, though, and have felt all you're feeling. hang in there! :)

Ruth said...

Hot dog - I'm more intuitive than I thought. I remember the pediatrician telling us at one appointment that for the first little while, the baby actually doesn't recognize a difference between itself and the mom, that they think you're one and the same. I wondered if this little stage W.T. is in was his finally realizing that we're two separate entities. Oh the joys... :)