Sunday, November 13, 2005

There's no nice way to say this. There's no politically correct way to get my feelings across. There's no way to sugar-coat this bit of information. So here it is...

I can't stand my in-laws. I tolerate them, but I have no real fondness for them. And I have moments when I think to myself that, if we didn't have a child, I might seriously consider divorcing my husband just to get away from them. My father-in-law is overbearing, obnoxious, and every other synonym for those traits that you can think of. My mother-in-law (or more accurately, my step-mother-in-law) is a twit. My brother-in-law is an irritating carbon-copy of my father-in-law. I won't even discuss my brother-in-law's wife.

Now to be fair, my father-in-law has done quite a bit for us since we got married. He's set up IRA accounts for both of us, and an educational savings IRA for W.T. He gave us the money for the downpayment on our house (after choosing a realtor and making appointments to look at houses he thought we should consider). He's helping pay for tuition and books for the classes that K is taking right now. We have not asked for any of this. And, of course, we can't tell his wife about any of it, because then he'd expect him to do the same for her daughters, and he doesn't think he should have to because they're not his children. These things are grudgingly appreciated, but there always feels as if there are strings attached. I can only assume that it's because he does these things that he thinks it's acceptable for him to talk to K and I as if we're still in junior high school. I can only assume that it's because of these things that he thinks it was acceptable to tell us that, with what our combined yearly income is (did I mention that he also does our taxes?), he thinks we should be able to spend around $50-$75 per person at Christmas. Or that he thought it was appropriate for him to tell me that I needed to get my bathrooms cleaned when he'd made arrangements for his plumber to install new toilets for us when we did some bathroom remodeling last year.

In the interest of keeping peace in the family, I have kept my mouth shut. I kept my mouth shut when he came into our house while we were gone (how, I have yet to figure out because to my knowledge he doesn't have a key) and left things sitting on our dining room table. I kept my mouth shut when he told me I was foolish to worry about withholding taxes from what we pay our private babysitter. I kept my mouth shut when he (yes, he himself, not someone he took W.T. too) CUT MY SON'S HAIR without my knowledge or permission. But we may have reached a breaking point.

He is coming to our house tomorrow (a thought that makes me cringe) to sit with W.T. while K runs errands. Usually, we take W.T. to the inlaw's house, but for some reason he's insistent on coming here in the morning. K is actually worried that his father will go through our personal papers and records. That he'll open desk drawers and look at the bills we have due. I have warned K that if I find out this has happened, I will keep my mouth shut NO LONGER. I will keep you posted.

1 comment:

gone said...

Slam his head in the bill drawer, Ruthie!!!