Good Girl?

Yes, I am overweight.

Yes, I am diabetic.

Yes, I am trying to loose weight by being more diligent about what I'm eating and by sweating my ass off on my elliptical machine 45 minutes a day at least 6 days a week.

I don't hide or ignore the fact that any of these statements are true. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not (Note to all the other fat girls out there: If you have a roll of fat around your middle so pronounced that it actually hangs over the waistband of your pants, PLEASE do not wear a belly shirt. It's NOT attractive. We thank you in advance for your attention to this.). The fact that the above statements are true, though, does not give you the right to patronize me. If you patronize me, you'll only end up pissing me off.

Here's how the scene unfolded this past Friday...

The new department that I'm in (By the way, I got a new job. Never fear, I'm still at the Casa de Insurance, just in a different department, but more on that in another post.) was gearing up for one of the infamous 'Casa de Insurance department reorganizations' (i.e. everyone was moving to a new desk), which was fine with me because I'd been here almost two weeks and was still sitting in a temporary desk. Management knew this was going to be a completely unproductive day, so they decided to show their appreciation for our understanding by buying us lunch. Pizza was to be delivered at noon. It's always either pizza or bagels with these people, which makes it surprising that our asses aren't permanently wedged into our chairs.

A new job in a new department means that I'm no longer directly across the aisle from Right-Wing-Conservative-Girl (henceforth known as RWCG) - YAY!! BUT, a new job in a new department means that RWCG is on the Casa de Insurance-approved instant messenger program to me FIRST THING EVERY MORNING - BOO!!. The conversation last Friday morning went something like this...

RWCG: Good Morning! How was your evening?
Me: It was okay... just the normal stuff.
RWCG: Good! Are you eating lunch with us today in the cafeteria, or staying at your desk since they're delivering pizza down there? (Side note: Lunch is a very big thing around here. It's almost like a social event, which is irritating. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating lunch with the crowd, but you always have to come up with an excuse. I spend gross amounts of money at Wal-Mart, because it's close and 'I need to pick up something at Wal-Mart' is a good excuse for getting out of the building at lunch time.)
Me: No, I'm not eating the pizza. I brought a big salad from home - trying to watch what I'm eating since I'm getting back on track with everything.
RWCG: Good girl!

Okay, back the truck up, Nellie. "Good girl!"? What the hell is that? I wanted to say, "Pardon me, but I'm not 10 years old and I'm not a dog." I wanted to say, "Do you really think that's encouraging? Because if you want to know the truth, it's not. It's irritating and condescending and rude" but I didn't, because I knew at that moment there was nothing I could type that would come out well, that wouldn't tell her exactly where she could go and how quickly she could go there, and because sometimes you have to choose your battles, especially when you see the person daily, and especially when you sit directly behind their boyfriend in the new department that you've moved to. Instead, I said nothing, shut down the instant messenger, and ate lunch at the big cafeteria table with RWCG and all the other ladies that are the lunchtime regulars.

Good girl? Screw you.

Please keep my friend Lori (see her link on the left) and especially her parents in your thoughts and prayers.  Her dad is in the hospital right now, and it looks like he's going to lose one of his legs from the knee down due to complications from a blood clot.  They're awesome folks, and taught me a few things during the (large amounts of) time that I spent at their house...  everything from cooking (add a can of Pepsi to your chili, you would not believe how much better it tastes) to parenting (if you don't like what your child is doing in their room, take the door off the hinges and put it in the garage for a few weeks).  Though the future looks bleak now, I know they'll get through this and get back to as close to normal as they ever were (and Lori, you know I mean that with all the love in my heart!) very quickly.

Is it wrong...

No, wait... let me re-phrase that...

How wrong is it that I've taught my 3 1/2 year old to say 'Daddy's a weenie'?? He (the 3 1/2 year old, not the daddy) giggles uproariously when he says it, which of course makes it terribly cute.

Is that bad?

Dear Miss Manners...

I'm very disturbed at what seems to be a growing trend. I work in a rather large office, 400-500 people in my building. More and more while I'm in the ladies room, I hear other ladies talking on their cell phones while they're in the stall doing their business!! Personally, I find this quite distasteful, not to mention rude to the person you're speaking to. I'd be mortally offended if I were speaking to someone and suddenly heard through the phone the WHOOSH of a flushing toilet!

I know, however, that this is the 21st Century, and understand how important the electronics are to us, but please tell me, Miss Manners, is this behavior appropriate??

Eagerly awaiting your reply...

Ah, sweet poetice justice...

I haven't written lately about Right Wing Conservative Girl (henceforth known as RWCG). Regular Ruth Speaks Up readers will remember her as my very young, very Baptist, very Republican co-worker. I'm emailing this post in from work, otherwise I'd search the archives for some prior entries on her and link them here. For those of you not familiar with her, here's a recap: she's 29, married and divorced 3 times, with 2 kids by 2 different husbands. She was raised in and still attends a primitive Baptist church, but has been living with her current boyfriend for the last two years. She voted for the first time in 2004, only so she could vote for the Anti-Gay Marriage amendment here in Ohio. Whenever someone brings in donuts, or cookies, or brownies, and I politely decline because I'm trying to keep my blood sugar in check, she goes ON AND ON about how sad it is that Ruth can't have any of the goodies (which, for the record, MAKES ME INSANE). Every morning when she comes in, she has a story concerning the drama of the night before, and since she cannot tell a short story, we all have to listen to her talk for about half an hour… first thing in the morning… which here at the Casa de Insurance is about 7:00am EST.

Anywhooo….

RWCG has definite self-confidence and self-image issues, which in some ways is kind of sad. She's very pretty. Yes, she has some junk in the trunk and could stand to lose maybe 30 pounds, but couldn't't we all? Instead of doing something about this, though, like say exercising on the Gazelle that sits in her living room, she pops 'all natural' Metabalife and eats huge slabs of pizza everyday for lunch. If you are thin and pretty, she hates you on sight. Literally, she hates you. I've recently come to the conclusion that she seems to like me so much only because I'm a bit heavier than her. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

Now here's the good part… the part that has me chuckling right now… she went to a friends July 4^th party weekend before last, and encountered there the step-daughter-in-law of the host, whom she'd never before met. The step-daughter-in-law of the host was very thin and very pretty, which had RWCG in fits. Predictably, the Monday following the party, RWCG had all sorts of stories to tell us about how dense and stupid the step-daughter-in-law of the host of the party was, how as she was talking the girl would stare at her somewhat blankly, how she was apparently so drunk that at one point that when RWCG asked her a question she got up and walked away without answering, and on and on.

Several days ago, RWCG was talking to the host of the party, and recounting to him one instance of (what she thought of as) particular stupidity on the part of the step-daughter-in-law, and the host told her…

"You know she's legally deaf, right? She was looking at you like that while you were talking because she was reading your lips. When she got up and walked away without answering, it was probably because she didn't realize you'd said anything to her."

I can't stop laughing about this. She told me this Tuesday, TWO days ago, and I am STILL laughing about it. When she told me, I HOOTED with laughter, then looked straight at her and said, "You know you're going to hell for that, right?"

More proof to me that God really does exist, and that he has a sense of humor…

Dear Miss Manners,

Is it appropriate for the check-out girl at the grocery store to adjust her chatchkes while she's ringing up my purchases? I don't mean just a small flick of a strap that's strayed down a shoulder, I'm talking a full hand-inside-the-shirt adjustment, followed by an over-the-shirt full-on from-below boost up of both girls.

And, after witnessing such an action, was it appropriate for me to say, "That must feel better"?

I eagerly await your advice...

Why, when I look at my blog, do I see empty red space all the way to the right? Why isn't my pretty umbrella template extending all the way to the edge?

This is driving me nuts...

Words I Never Wanted to Hear My Mother-in-Law Say...

Seriously, people... I do NOT know how many more of these encounters I can take.

The husband and I have been together for 11 years now, married for almost 10. You'd think after all this time, there would be little that the in-laws could say that would make me want to run from the room screaming, YET they are still managing to come up with new material.

So...

We went to the in-laws' place on the 4th for a little patriotic family time. The mother-in-law and I sat down to watch 'Charlotte's Web' (the live-action version that came out last year - very good, by the way. I highly recommend it.) while the father-in-law, the husband and the son did some male bonding. After that, we sat down to dinner.

As we were eating, the husband was recounting bits of a Bill Engvall special we'd watched a few days before on Comedy Central. His junior high-age son had just gone for his first school sports physical, and was understandably devastated by the turn-your-head-and-cough portion of the exam. Bill held up his index finger towards his son and said, 'Wait 'til you get to be my age.'

- Insert laughter here -

The father-in-law made a few jokes at the husband's expense, because he'll be forty in December, etc., etc. The conversation could've ENDED THERE, and it would've been fine.

But no.

My mother-in-law then had to pipe up with...

"Well, it can't be as bad as having one of those internal ultrasounds, like I just had to have at the gyno!" (Note: if you don't know exactly what the internal ultrasound is, use your imagination. I'm sure you'll get it....) Then she continued with...

"It's like having them stick a dildo up your privates! And it's always a woman that does it! Why do they have a woman sticking something like a dildo up inside you? At least if it was a man doing it maybe it wouldn't be so embarrassing."

What?

Okay - I unfortunately have had to have two of these procedures over the years. Trust me, they're embarrassing regardless of the gender of the ultrasound technician. I can only imagine the idiotic look I had on my face as she was saying this, and all I could think (but somehow managed not to say out loud) was

STOP SAYING DILDO!!!!!

I don't know what else to say, other than Ewww!!!

Yes, another new template. What do you think? This probably won't be the last change, which is why I haven't updated the links, so please don't take offense.

I know it's annoying to find something different everytime you visit. I feel as if I'm in a state of flux right now, and I'm trying to find something that just screams RUTH!!!!

Does the red background make it hard to read? And I'm not hip on all that empty space to the right, although it lets the pattern of the template show through nicely.

Have a safe and happy holiday. Say a prayer that our troops come home SOON.

Could it be?

I know you all are on pins and needles, waiting anxiously for another update on the boy's potty training progress.

I, however, am ready for this task to be OVER.

I am happy, nay OVERJOYED, to FINALLY be able to say that MY SON HAS USED THE POTTY!!!!

Don't get too excited. He's still got a ways to go before being COMPLETELY potty trained, but we have at least broken through the first barrier. And, oddly, he's refused his reward of Hershey's kisses for his triumphs. Go figure.

If I knew more about HTML code, I'd put a counter for the pees & poohs that go in the potty over in the sidebar.

Heaven help me.