Saturday, March 18, 2006

Holy neds, what a blogging dry spell. Where does time go? I just don't understand it. I constantly feel like I accomplish nothing, yet never seem to have enough time to get things done. Work, eat, sleep... work, eat, sleep... work, eat, sleep... you get the idea. Maybe I've avoided getting on here because I don't feel like I have anything good to say right now.

My mental state is iffy at best. I'm exhausted. I didn't think it was possible to be this tired. Getting to sleep is never a problem. The problem is staying asleep. I normally wake up, for no apparent reason, 2-3 times each night. I never reach that deep REM sleep that you need to feel really rested. This has been going on for months. Well, years really. 2 years to be exact. Since the boy was born. And it's amazing how much the lack of sleep can affect. Aside from feeling exhausted constantly, not getting the proper amount of sleep can affect blood sugar readings, and can affect efforts to lose weight. Yes, the two biggest things on my list of what needs to be taken care of right now. I saw the doctor week before last, and broke down and finally let him prescribe something to help with the sleep problem (although it has yet to really start working, but we'll see). I hate that. I hate having one more pill to take everyday.

I kind of started my new position as Case de Insurance this past Thursday (because Thursday was the beginning of a new pay cycle). Because my now-previous supervisor is an idiot and a pain in the ass, he worked out a deal with the new supervisor for me to work 1/2 days for him and 1/2 days for her until the end of the month, then I'll move to my new department full-time. I feel completely unproductive at work, which is very annoying.

And I'm irritated at home. K has been off work since February 3rd. He starts school (finally) on March 27. That's what, about 6 weeks off from work? And he had tons of time off from October to December of last year. He's had more time off in the last 4 months than I've had in the last 3 years. And has he really been doing anything around the house? Guess what the answer is to that question. Well I take that back. He does the laundry. Sometimes. Cleaning? No. Cooking? God forbid. He takes the boy to the park on days it's warm enough, and other days sits at the computer while the boy is watching either the Disney Channel or 'Elmo in Grouchland'. I'm sure the boy's brain is starting to atrophy. He'll end up going to vocational school for auto mechanics and living at home until he's 37. And, of course, K will not be working for the next 2 years while he's in school. He's very happy about that because it will give him so much time to spend with the boy. You know... I'd really like to have 2 years off to spend with my son, but that just ain't gonna happen anytime soon.

Hope you all are doing okay. I promise I'll have more positive things to say next time.


gone said...

This is a big adjustment, Ruth. I promise it'll be OK. When school lets out for the summer, I always have to sort of "find my purpose" and within a few weeks, I become a good househusband--not desperate at all.

I think the adjustment is the key thing here, and communication and cool heads are going to be very important.

Love ya!

Fraise said...

Could almost have written this myself, although I have no children to look after, oh apart from the 40something one, keep your chin up.