Friday, December 30, 2005

Be it resolved...

I don't think that anyone in my office is actually doing any work today. On top of that, we're all waiting for our supervisor to send out his usual pre-holiday last- minute- excuse- for- why- I -have- to- leave- for- the- day email. Like he's really fooling anyone. How coincindental that these things always come up either on days when we're getting bad weather and the roads are awful, or the day before a holiday. But whatever.

The problem with the timing of W.T.'s birth is that I went out on maternity leave a week before Christmas in 2003, and was off until mid-February 2004. I was off work during the entire holiday season that year and LOVED it. It spoiled me. Not being able to take extra time off at the holidays (because let's face it, my vacation days are LONG gone by the end of the year!) has added to my normal holiday grumpiness these last 2 years. Thus my inability to concentrate on my work today. Boredom with my job is contributing to this, also, but that's another post.

So I am sitting here today, trying to look busy but really contemplating the upcoming new year, and of course along with that comes the new year's resolutions. I've never been too hip on the resolutions. I, like everyone else, has made the commitment to lose weight, exercise, etc at the beginning of the year and have never followed through, which inevitably leads to guilt over the fact that I have once again failed, blah, blah, blah. You get my drift. This year, I'm setting my sights on what hopefully are some more realistic things...

1) I will do my best to be more thankful for what I have, rather than being upset about what I want but don't have. I will choose to have a more positive attitude about and outlook on things.

2) I will take care of myself, because I'm worth taking care of. I will (most of the time) be more careful about what I eat. I will make time for myself because I'm worth making time for.

3) I will stop blaming my husband for the things in my life that I'm not satisfied with.

4) I will look up recipes for the wonderful dishes I see being made on the Food Network and try one new dish each month. I will plant herbs in pots and put them on my kitchen windowsill so that I have fresh herbs for these spectacular dishes.

5) I will make time to read again. Before W.T. came along, I read voraciously. I consumed books from the library, and our shelves at home were stuffed to overflowing with fiction and non-fiction alike. Since W.T. came along, there just hasn't been the time... or the inclination. By the end of the day, I am so tired both mentally and physically that opening a book is the last thing I want to do. At the same time, though, I miss it desperately and often long to have a free hour, or even 1/2 hour, to just sit and lose myself in a book.

6) I will turn on the television less, and turn on the radio more, and dance with W.T. in the living room, and enjoy my son before he gets to an age where he doesn't want to be around mommy any longer.

7) I will, in a nutshell, do my best to enjoy my life more, because really it's not a bad life when you really look at it.

Wish me luck...

1 comment:

Devra said...

I'll wish you more than just luck, I wish you success! I also wish you a "if I don't get to all of it, getting to some of it is okay" feeling. Oh, and tell your brother if he ever sees me scheduled for a book signing/discussion in his B&N to come up and say "hi". I don't know which store he is in, but I've got a few I am visiting this year in support of "Mommy Guilt".