Sunday, May 28, 2006

It's never going to end... or maybe it has...

Talking to the best friend this afternoon, which doesn't happen much anymore, now that the boyfriend is in the picture. Yes, I think I'm experiencing a spot of jealousy, but that's for another time...

But the conversation today may the one that pushes me over the edge... hang on to your seat...

Her: "John came over and spent the night again last night."

Me: "Ah"

Her: "He said he thinks he's going to have to go back to the doctor"

Me: "Back to the doctor? That doesn't sound good..."

Her: "Yeah, he told me it's something that used to happen before, when he masturbated..."

Have you picked yourself up off the floor yet?

I have no idea what exactly she said after that, because I put the phone down for a few seconds while I cleared my head... something about feeling blood pounding in his jugular vein and being afraid he was going to have a stroke.

I'm STILL speechless over this one, and the conversation took place about 8 hours ago. I so very much want to scream "When did it become okay to talk about things like this??? I don't want to know this!!! I don't care that we've known each other forever, STOP TELLING ME THINGS LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Maybe I'm a prude. Maybe I'm more conservative than I ever dreamed I was (God help me). This whole thing is making me SOOOOOOOOOOOO uncomfortable, yet I'm afraid of what might happen if I say anything. We've known each other all our lives, yet we're just not the type of people that really talk about our feelings.

Must come from being Presbyterian.

7 comments:

Teresa said...

OH Ruth... I know it made you uncomfortable... but that was so stinking funny... especially the line about being a Presbyterian! LOL I needed that giggle... even at midnight!! I still can't imagine it making YOU uncomfortable... You're the one who asked my younger sister if she had any questions about the birds and the bees when she was staying with you for my graduation.

Ruth said...

Oh my God, I'd forgotten all about that!!!!!!!! :)

I think it makes me uncomfortable because it's coming from HER. It's like Julie Andrews as 'Maria' talking about sex... just weird.

gone said...

I think I just swallowed my tongue from convulsing with laughter.

Teresa said...

Now that's a thought... No, I won't go there... I won't do the Fraulein Maria sex talk. LOL

What little good all the sex talks in the world did with my little sister... I think we all just wasted air...

Remember when I was in Lysistrata at Berea and they had me dressed up as that little old lady in the suit.... Everyone called me Dr. Ruth and kept asking me questions about their erectile dysfunction. OOOPSS! Did I say that out loud??

Maidink said...

Honey, the only real sin for us Presbyterians is using the salad fork during dinner.

Yes, Ruth. Peple do talk like that. It's okay.

Next time you talk to your friend, take a deep breath, and then in one quick motion, say, "Hey! What's up? How's it hanging for John?"

It's threrapy ... it'll help.

justrose said...

hey ruth, just saying hi. this is hilarious. i used to never talk about anything but now people crane at adjacent diner tables.

ah, it's fun.

i think it might be episcopalian.

justrose said...

also, the blog looks awesome!!