And now for something completely decadent...

I've started drinking coffee.

How grown up of me, right?

This started in earnest probably five or six months ago, in an effort to save money and be a little healthier. Before this, the day just did not begin until I'd had a 20 oz diet Coke. I've replaced this with a 16 oz car mug of some sort of flavored coffee with plain creamer, yay for me.

I ran across a recipe for a homemade pumpkin spice latte recently, appropriate since we just passed the Autumnal Equinox, that's supposed to rival what Starbucks makes (wouldn't know, never had one). I made a few modifications (to keep the diabetes gods happy), and O-M-G, I am now HOOKED on this stuff, and have it every weekend.

This makes 2 servings... or 1 1/2, a 16 oz car mug for you, and an 8 oz coffee mug for your significant other.

1-2 TBL canned pumpkin

1 cup skim milk

1/2 Splenda brown sugar blend

1/4 tsp cinnamon

pinch of nutmeg

pinch of ground cloves

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups strong brewed coffee (If you can handle it. I'm a bit of a wimp, so I just brew it regular.)

4 TBL creamer

4-8 tsp Splenda sweetener (sweeten to your taste)

In a blender, puree the pumpkin, milk, spices, brown sugar and vanilla. If you're feeling really sassy, throw in a squirt of sugar-free maple syrup, too. Pour this into a small saucepan and heat over low heat until the milk is warm and begins to froth slightly (about 4-5 minutes).

For each serving, pour 1/2 cup of the pumpking mixture into your coffee mug. Add 2 generous TBL of creamer. Heat in the microwave for 30 seconds, then add 1 cup of the brewed coffee. Sweeten to taste with Splenda. And if you're just crazy enough to do it, top it off with some whipped cream and a sprinkle of nutmeg (I haven't taken it quite this far yet!).

While you enjoy this, I'm off to find a similar recipe for the Starbucks Carmel Machiato...

Butterfly

Well hot-diggity, another weekend is finally here. I feel as if I spend all my time wishing my life away, waiting for the weekend.



My friend's funeral was this past Tuesday, and it was hard and easy all at the same time. My assumption is that this was an overdose of some sort, as this was what she tried in the past. The flowers were lovely. Her casket was pink. I feel horrible for saying this, but she looked bad. There's always something unsettling about viewing the deceased, but this went beyond that. I hadn't actually seen her in about a year; our communication of late had been mostly e-mail or text message, with an occasional phone call. I knew she'd gained a bit of weight, so I wasn't startled by that... but she was very heavily made-up, which wasn't her in life at all... and her mouth was set at a funny angle, like that of a person who's had a stroke. It was very odd, and made me wonder if perhaps, as a result of the overdose, she'd had a stroke at some point. I was glad that they had a nice display of photos of her in her better days. After just these few days, the memory of what she looked like, laying there, is already starting to fade... and I'm glad of that.

I've been to more funerals than I'd have liked in my 38 years, and this time I really sensed the feeling of saying goodbye to someone, of setting their spirit free to soar high into eternity. Jennifer was tortured by demons, both real and imagined. She was an exquisite person, but took everything too much to heart. It was wrenching to see her in her darker moments, agonized by what was going on in her head. At the same time, though, she knew yet refused the only kind of help that would have healed, or at least helped her manage, what she struggled with. It's hard to watch someone you care about hurt like that, maddening to sit while they do nothing to help themselves.

Of course I mourn for my friend, mourn for the daughter she left behind, and wonder if I couldn't have done more. But she truly now is finally free, which is what she wanted most. How can I be sad or angry about that?

It's always easier to leave than to be left

I found out yesterday that a friend passed from this life into the next by her own hand this week. I'm more heartbroken than shocked, because even just since I'd know her, she'd tried this twice before. She was beautiful and sweet and kind but tortured, and impossible to reach when it came to convincing her to seek the only kind of help that would have moved her past the demons that sometimes consumed her. She was my Dave Matthews buddy. She was the one who dropped everything at work and drove me to the hospital the day I got the call that my father was in cardiac arrest. Her daughter is just 13, and I wonder how she'll ever come to terms with this.

Rest in Peace, Jennifer. You will be missed, but I hope you finally feel set free.

She lives!

Although my lack of posting lately speaks to the contrary, I am here and all is well.  You've probably seen/heard/read the last day or two about the windy remnants of hurricane Ike that swept through my part of Ohio this past Sunday (although not nearly as bad as what Texas got, to be sure).  Many areas around me are still without power; we were very lucky at the home of Ruth Speaks Up in that our power went out for about 20 minutes, but then came back.  We also were very lucky not to have any damage to our home, although folks at just the other end of our street did not fare as well.  I've been itching to get out with my camera, to get some pictures to post for you...  I'm sure you can imagine what a wind-toppled tree looks like, but still.   Moving on...   THE WEDDING of my best friend to the gassy, redneck truck driver took place, as scheduled, this past Saturday.  WHAT I SAW OF IT was lovely...  here's what happened...   Friday, I spent the afternoon and evening helping my friend and her family get things set-up at the wedding venue.  The groom-to-be was there, also, and let me tell you, I've never seen a more nervous groom.  He did... absolutely nothing toward the preparations for the day.  He wandered around outside the lodge they'd rented for the festivities, drinking beer and playing cornhole with his buddy.  Every so often, he'd run in frantically, quiz my friend about this, that and the other that needed to be done, then run back out.  Nice, eh?   I got home about 8pm and went straight to bed.  About 9:30pm, I was struck with some sort of vile stomach/intestinal bug that had me doubled over with cramps and in and out of the bathroom for the rest of the night.  I made it to the wedding venue by 9:00 the next morning, and told my friend what was going on.  I made it through the ceremony and one round of pictures, then had to lay down.  Lucky for me there was a cot in the room where the girls got ready.  I was down for about an hour, then had the husband take me home.  At home, the thermometer told me that my temperature was 101.8.  I crawled into bed and stayed there, save for desperate runs to the bathroom, until about noon Sunday.  Bummer, eh?   Okay, back to work!  Although the winds took our sign that used to sit at the main entrance to the parking lot, the Casa de Insurance closes for no one!

After the Montessori school debacle of Wednesday, and the decision by the husband and me that we just weren't going to send the precious boy back there, I told my boss on Thursday that I'd be taking Friday off, to find another place for the precious boy. The fact that this time next year he'll be starting Kindergarten, and all that that entails, is weighing somewhat heavily on me right now. There's lots he needs to work on to pass that Kindergarten testing next spring, so not having him in preschool isn't an option. Anywhoo... To make a long story short, he started today at the preschool at a Baptist church that's about 2 minutes from our house. If we could cut across the field that our backyard butts up against, we'd have a straight shot from our house to this church, that's how close it is. We toured the place Friday and met the woman who teaches his age group. We confirmed later that afternoon with the director that they have spots available, and picked up the paperwork. They have preschool and daycare, and even before- and after-school care for elementary school kids. They have a lovely and large fenced-in playground outside, and a full-size gymnasium inside for days when the weather's bad. His teacher was very nice and sincere, and eased our fears about the precious boy having a hard time adjusting to being away from daddy before we could even bring the subject up. The precious boy started today. Needless to say, I sat here at my desk at the Casa de Insurance feeling the urge to vomit from 9 am to 12:30 pm, when the husband finally called to give me the report. Well... The kids were playing outside when the husband got there to pick up the precious boy, and the precious boy was having such a WONDERFUL time that he didn't want to leave. His lovely, sincere teacher reported that he had a GREAT day, that he sat nicely in circle time with the other children, that there were a few times he seemed like he just wanted to be on his own, and that was fine and they let him, but for the most part he participated and was a perfect little gentlemen. HALLELUJAH! I'm sure he'll have bad days. All kids do at some point; as his parent I'm quite biased, but I'm not afraid to admit that he's a typical kid who probably has been a little spoiled by daddy, so I'm sure we'll run into issues at some point. But isn't it curious how this teacher and her assistant were able to handle him, and the others weren't? Hmmmm... And in case you're curious, we have yet to have any response to the e-mail I sent to them last Thursday, or the phone message the husband left for them last Friday, to find out when we could pick up the precious boy's stuff. Snobby Montessori bastards...

So... obviously Montessori isn't the program for us...

--- On Thu, 9/4/08, Ruth Speaks Up wrote: From: Ruth Speaks Up Subject: Our precious boy, and the awful day he had yesterday To: The Montessori School we decided to try Date: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 1:43 PM Dear director of the Montessori school we decided to try:   I'm sorry to say that after our precious boy's disappointing day yesterday, and after our discussion with his hag of a teacher after school, we've decided that the your tiny school, up on top of the hill, isn't the program for our precious boy.  And I must say, quite honestly, that our talk with his hag of a teacher left us with the impression that she felt the same way.  While we understand clearly that the Montessori method is not at all like a 'traditional' school program, and that the children work on their own with very little guidance or supervision from the teacher, we didn't anticipate that he would be expected to 'get it' his very first day in the classroom.  Although our precious boy was in preschool during the 2007-2008 school year, this is quite a change from being at home with his father all day, every day, which we brought up when you gave us a tour of your tiny school, up on top of the hill.  It's to be expected that there might be a rocky transition period as he adjusts to a new environment.  After prompting her for a recommendation of what our next step would be, his hag of a teacher did immediately suggest taking our precious boy to half-days, but frankly we did not get the feeling from her that she was interested in helping him adjust to this new setting.  Her comments that "he just doesn't seem ready to learn" and "this is a school, not a daycare" also left us quite taken aback.  Our precious boy is a very bright child, and in the right setting and with the right encouragement and guidance learns new things quickly.    While, after hearing so many good things about your tiny school, up on top of the hill, we had very high hopes that this would be a wonderful learning experience, we must ultimately do what we feel is in the best interest of our son and his education.  Please let us know when a convenient time would be for us to pick up the items our precious boy left - boots, snow pants, etc.  We also hope for at least a partial refund of the $100 deposit/activity fee that we paid with his enrollment forms.  If it's more convenient, please feel free to mail these items to our home address.   Thank you, Ruth Speaks Up

So I suppose I'll say here now, officially speaking if you want to put it that way, that I'm postponing indefinitely the gastric bypass surgery. I'm not saying I'll never have it - who knows, maybe I'll get down to having just 100 pounds to lose and be so tired of the whole business that I go ahead and have it (because to qualify for the surgery, you have to be at least 100 pounds overweight). On the other hand, if I get to that point and I don't have the giblets to go the distance on my own, it would be pretty pathetic.

I'm just keeping all my options open.

The mother-in-law asked about the surgery a few weeks ago, and I related all this to her. I'm just really jazzed that I'm having so much success with all this... I mean (not to toot my own horn) I know it's my hard work that's doing it... but I'm still really excited about it. So I was telling the m-i-l this, and that I just couldn't see the point of having the surgery as long as I'm having such HUGE success on my own, and she actually seemed disappointed that I wasn't going to have the surgery. Seriously, what the hell is that about? I really just wanted to tell her to go screw herself, but didn't.

You would think that, after 12 years, I'd have given up by now on trying to figure them out. Knowing my luck, I'll probably get more vibrating slippers for Christmas.

I'm just all over the place right now.

I've apparently developed tendonitis in the Achilles tendon of my left leg, and let me tell you, it hurts like a bastard. My exercising for the last week and a half has been not-quite-up-to-par, which resulted in me gaining a few pounds this week. I'm pissed about that, but I categorically REFUSE to change that number over to the left, there... Derek showed me a few stretches that have helped tremendously over the past few days. And while he was showing me how to do them, he rubbed my ankle for a minute, so that was the highlight of last week.

There's been some jerking around by the in-laws of late, particularly the father-in-law. Not really worth going into here. I'm sure it will come as NO surprise that my father-in-law is one of those people that is absolutely impossible to argue with, as he will never admit that he's wrong. Also last weekend I learned that the mother-in-law is a huge ABBA fan, when she took me to see 'Mama Mia'... cute, but I hope to never have to listen to Pierce Brosnan sing again. And it was very unsettling to sit next to my mother-in-law in a dark theater and listen to her sing along to the songs.

And life is about to change, ie. get more stressful, as the husband prepares to go back to work. He finished up his classes in June, and now has his certificate as a Medical Office Coding Specialist from the local community college. This Friday, he goes to take some kind of national certification test, and after that will start looking for a job. Which means we have to find childcare for the boy.

Now, he's heading into his second year, and we do feel he's perhaps a bit behind in learning the fine motor skills. I'm happy to say, though, that he was rockin & rollin with his alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes before he started his first year of preschool. Yesterday, we visited a Montessori school close to us that goes from preschool to grade 6, and it looked just wonderful. They offer a full-day preschool program, with options for childcare both before and after the school hours - one-stop shopping for both our learning and daycare needs. We've enrolled him, and are now plowing through the thick stack of paperwork handed to us. The next hurdle will be figuring out the logistics of dropping him off and picking him up... heaven help me.

Lessons in Parenting #357

Per the nurse at the Poison Control Hotline, the only hazzard posed to your child by Play-doh that has been ingested is the possibility that it will get stuck in the throat/esophagus/food pipe when going down. If you find that your child perhaps has eaten some, give them something to drink. If it goes down okay with no problems swallowing, they're okay, and the Play-doh will eventually work its way out... naturally... you know what I mean.

I consider it a minor victory that the boy is 4 1/2 years old and I've only talked to the Poison Control center once...

Yes, folks, I am still here. Like others of you out there (and you know who you are), I supposed I've just been in a little bit of a funk lately. But nothing to be concerned about. I've got a lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head right now, that I'm trying to sort out into one... or two... or more... meaningful posts.

Soon...

On a happier note...

Here's some pretty stuff to look at... we took a jaunt to the local arboretum this weekend. Their butterfly house is open for the season, and I snapped these lovely (I think!) pics...

Sometimes, enough is enough...

I'm sure you were hoping for stories of the weird-in-laws-picnic when you stopped by, but more on that later.

Pax Romano has posted some stunning photos of a stunning exhibit on the personal cost of the Iraq war here that I feel you must check out. Normally I try to keep things quite light and airy here, but images such as these... and talking this weekend to the father of a good friend from high school, whose son (my friend's younger brother) is on his third tour over there, watching this man who served in Vietnam (so he knows how bad it gets) cry as he tells me about the latest he's heard from his son... these things make me pause.

There is nothing anyone can or will ever say that will make me support what the pathetic waste of space that currently occupies the Oval Office has done; HALLELUJAH that we only have to continue to endure him for a short time. We impeached Bill Clinton for getting a blow job while on the job. A good decision on his part? No. Do I condone his behavior? Absolutely not, and here's why: 1) He's married (although a sham-marriage it may be, they're still legally bound) and 2) Right or wrong, I hold the leader of our country to a little bit higher standard, as I feel he (or she) should be an example for the people he's (or she's) leading. But a little slap and tickle seems tame to what's happened these last 7 1/2 years. Bush used the patriotism felt by so many after 9/11 to further his own agenda, plain and simple, and look where it's gotten us. This isn't a war on terrorism, this is a war to finish what his father started back in the 80's... and if you support it, shame on you.

Bring our boys home...

Have a safe and happy holiday. Don't lose any fingers or toes and don't put an eye out shooting off fireworks. And pray for our troops, that this madness will end soon and they'll com HOME.

Pollen is my enemy. I have been miserable all-week-long.

Yet I have continued to exercise. It hasn't been quite as vigorous as it normally is, but I've done it so I don't get out of the habit. I think I should get extra points for that, for whoever's keeping track.

Today we will go to the annual husband's-side-of-the-family 4th of July picnic. Even my father-in-law thinks these folks are weird, and it's his nieces that organize the whole thing.

Should be a good time!

I'm somewhat sad about the fact that I haven't had a good story about my in-laws for a while. Or about Right-Wing-Conservative-Girl, but I haven't spoken to her much lately (which isn't neccessarily a bad thing).

The exercising is still going well, although I was completely un-inspired by my treadmill yesterday, but pushed myself and did 30 minutes. Today I did my (now) usual 60 minutes, so I'm proud of that. I've been listening a lot to Lenny Kravits during the recent workouts. No idea where this came from, but for your listening pleasure:



We had dinner with the in-laws tonight, and they seemed a little taken aback when I said I was skipping dessert. The husband skipped dessert, also (after being told by his dad {my father-in-law} one day last week that he was really getting fat and needed to start losing weight). It was amusing to see the looks on their faces at that.

Pay it Forward...

A friend who posts on Xanga (and who comments here as Just Me - I'd link her here but she's had stalker issues and prefers to keep things private) posted this challenge on her blog. I agreed to participate, so I'm posting it here -

The principle (if you’ve never heard of PIF) : Here are the rules: I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange, and who make the same pledge on their own blogs. I have an idea of what the gift will be, and you'll receive it within a month. You have to be willing to send me your mailing address to participate - if you're game, leave a comment and send me an e-mail with your address!

I ate a candy bar today, and I'm trying not to kick myself in the ass too much about it... slightly impossible, though, as I'm saddled with the guilt of a good Catholic (even though I'm Presbyterian).

I blame it on my boss.

She returned to work Monday from a 10 day trip to Ireland (she sucks). She brought back a gift each for my co-worker and I, a hand-made chocolate bar from some fabulous chocolatier in Dublin - what the hell?!? It lasted a day and a half on my desk before the 'I'll only have a small piece...' crap started... 5 minutes later, it was gone.

I just finished an hour on the treadmill to (try to) make up for it.

I remain cautiously optimistic that I can do this on my own, without having the bypass surgery. I was just reading some inspirational stories yesterday of women my age, older, and younger who have lost the same amount of or more weight than I need to lose, and did it on their own. If they can do it, I can too. I've decided that the only proper way to do this is to give myself some good incentive... after all, when you've got (clears throat to cover up actual number) pounds to lose, you need something really good to look forward to at the end...

I've spent quite a bit of time the last few days here, perusing their offerings, and think I've finally landed on this, if I can take off this - okay, I'll say it - 200 lbs on my own. If achieved, and provided they still offer it, I'll order this to be worn on the middle finger of my right hand - won't that be fabulous?

Yes, it's a decent chunk of change... but I'm worth it.

For Lori

Ah, memories...

And while searching for a picture of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man, I ran across this:

... which is just f-ing scary...

Cool foto editing

I wish I could take credit for manipulating the photo below. I found online a tutorial that walks through the steps to do something similar with Adobe Photoshop Elements, but I got to step two and decided it was too involved and I didn't have time. I'm all about instant gratification, you know.





So after some hunting, I found Foto Flexer. I have most of my pictures uploaded to Flickr (as evidenced by the photostream to the right), and Foto Flexer can connect right to your Flickr account. A few clicks of the mouse, and I was able to turn this

into the pop-art masterpiece you see below. I e-mailed the new image to myself to download into my picture files, and there you have it.

Of note: Foto Flexer does give the option to upload pictures right from your computer, without connecting to a Flickr, et al, account, but I was not able to get this to work.

Happy foto editing - be sure to post your results!

The job interview went very well, and, in fact, he has another one this coming Tuesday.



I become more and more obsessed with my digital camera and the endless editing possibilites that come with photo editing programs each day...



Hope you all are having a great Sunday!